I tested my newly purchased shotgun by promptly exploding a red-colored barrel. As my eyes went wide at the impressive blast, fully expecting a wild inferno to rage uncontrollably through the small cluster of buildings known for their chief establishment as “Mike’s Bar,” my first thought was Crap, why did I do that? Was I going to be the asshole who, after mere minutes of entering this on-the-brink-of-chaos African country, proceeded to burn down its premiere watering hole? The fact that I chose an Algerian-born mercenary as my in-game representative acted as my second thought; good, I didn’t pick the American. I’m safe. My name’s Hakim. Anyone asks, I saw that redneck merc Warren Clyde hop aboard a nearby boat, his arms cradling a box of unlit Molotov cocktails, and speed into the distance still giggling over the thought of senselessly burning numerous innocent people to death.

All of this ran through my mind in the time that it took for me to realize that there wasn’t a horrific bushfire making a beeline for the bar. I looked at ground zero where the barrel exploded. Not a whole lot of grass. I glanced up at a nearby tree. It wasn’t moving, which meant one of two things: 1) It wasn’t windy, or 2) My video card wasn’t capable of rendering windblown trees. As I am not a caveman, I do not possess a working knowledge of how fire operates and therefore do not feel qualified to assess the accuracy of this non-fire starting explosion. (My fires generally begin with uneventfully flinging a lit match at a lighter fluid-doused mound of charcoal; I’m disappointed that I’ll have to return all of the red explosive barrels I purchased the other day as an alternative method to getting the grill going.) Anyway, it seemed that a crisis had been averted.

In case you haven’t noticed, you just read two paragraphs about a videogame fire that didn’t happen. Take my word, this is a testament to the brilliance FarCry 2 displays early on. How many red barrels have I shot in the past ten years? I have no clue. When I play a game and see a red barrel, I shoot it. Even if there’s no one around. I could’ve cleared out an entire area full of hostiles only to discover a red barrel hiding in a corner. It’s not going to dispose of anyone. It’s not going to blow up a sealed doorway. I don’t care. I’m still expending a burst of bullets to blow that stupid barrel sky high. Why? Because it explodes and that’s cool! I always enjoy a good explosion. So what’s different here? Why did I actually regret—for a few seconds, at least—shooting some listless barrel? Easy. In FarCry 2, explosions have consequences (beyond finding yourself in the blast radius, that is). Fire spreads. I doubt that the game is advanced enough to actually go through the motions of burning a building down, but I had just arrived at Mike’s Bar. I didn’t know if anyone important might’ve been sauntering around outside. I was supposed to meet a French woman there. What if I had inadvertently set her ablaze and ruined any chance of possibly initiating any kind of gratuitous, Mass Effect –ish sex scene? I had barely entered this pseudo-village before spotting the barrel, slamming on the brakes of my car, and hopping out to send it Heaven’s way. Such has my gaming mind been trained.

Consequences. That’s not a word you think of while considering a first-person shooter. Hell, it’s barely a word you think of while playing a role-playing game, replete with intricate karmic devices. You now have to ask yourself, on a scale of one to ten, how screwed will I be if I blow this red barrel up? There’s a town in the game that is under a ceasefire the second time you go to it. A hesitant peace hangs in the air. In the town, your gun is automatically lowered, but you’re still able to bring it up by activating your iron sight. I’m pretty sure I spotted a few red barrels while I was there. In that case, you’re probably looking at a ten.

I’ve only got about four hours invested into the game so far, and while the visuals are certainly awe-inspiring, it was this particular situation that spoke to me the most. These few seconds that actually made me shrink back from my monitor the way you do after accidentally sending an expletive-filled e-mail to your boss that you fully intended to delete upon venting pent-up frustrations, these few seconds in a videogame grabbed my balls with icy fingers, if only for a moment. That’s next generation, folks. This again means one of two things: 1) It might very well be possible that one day we will play a game where we will be forced to consider not just every explosion, but every bullet as well, or 2) I’ve gone off the deep end and am over-analyzing this entire thing. I’ve given some thought to number two and the only thing I can come up with is that if, while playing the game at the exact moment I experienced this epiphany, a massively erect penis tore through my monitor and confidently hovered mere inches away from my lips, I probably would have stuck it in my mouth. While this opens up a whole slew of new questions regarding my sexuality and might serve as excellent fodder for when I next see my psychiatrist, it also means that, if offered, I would gratefully put male anatomy in my oral cavity. O.K., number two seems even more likely.

Either way, this game is shaping up nicely. The only fault I’ve found so far is the voice-acting. Technically, the voices are great. None have made me cringe. They fit their characters. They have who sounds like James Remar voicing the role of the main bad guy, the Jackal. It fits. So what’s the problem? Their initial line will sound great, but all following lines sound rushed. Like, you’ll have a guy talking and the first sentence out of his mouth is top notch, but everything following that mostly comes out sounding like Robert Downey, Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: whilst escaping the police, his character barges in on an acting audition; he sits down and confusedly reads a line from the provided script in a quick, flat burst. It’s distracting and hopefully tones itself down as the game goes on.

Whoops! I don’t want to end this on a negative note. After entering the bar and speaking with my French lady friend (who thankfully had no idea what transpired moments ago outside—nothing turns a woman off quite like attempted murder via pyromania), I acquired a new mission and headed back out to my car. On the way out of the village, I spotted a red piece of debris on the road. From my barrel! Debris! That’s nothing new, but hot damn if it don’t get me all giddy. All right, that’s enough. If you have even a passing interest in the FPS genre, FarCry 2 is a no-brainer.

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